Trading Drugs for a Mic and a Mission

Craig James is a Christian rapper who goes by the name “5ive.” His name is a reminder of God’s grace that met him in his brokenness.

Craig says, “The biblical number for grace and favor is the number five. So, I took the number five and I added I-V-E to it. Grace is victory everlasting.”

Before the stage lights and music, Craig’s life was defined by years of addiction, abandonment, and a desperate search for acceptance. Craig’s father left him when he was three years old, creating a void Craig spent years trying to fill.

Craig remembers, “Tough upbringing. No dad. He got lost in addiction. For a young man to grow without a father, it is really, really hard, man, because you don’t know really how to be a man. You don’t ever see that example,” he says. “There was a lot of identity crisis, trying to find a place where I belonged.”

His mother and grandmother raised him in the church, but Craig found the streets more appealing. At ten, he was introduced to marijuana. And by sixteen, his drug use had escalated to crack cocaine.

Craig remembers, “It was the feeling, I guess the escape. In the drug circles, I was accepted. We were all doing the same thing, and there was a brotherhood there.”

As his addiction grew, Craig lost the future he once dreamed would give him a sense of belonging. A gifted athlete in high-school, his discipline and drive slowly faded.

Craig says, “Falling in love with drugs led me to being lazy, not wanting to work out, going to practice hungover. You stop having a desire to be great at things.”

He tried college, but drugs quickly took center stage, and he dropped out. Eventually, he turned to meth, still battling depression and abandonment.

Craig recalls, “I was taking meth probably to escape the loneliness, feeling like nobody really cared.”

Even in addiction, Craig believed he had a spiritual purpose.

According to Craig, “I felt like I was saved, and really this was as good as it was going to get for me. I even thought at one point that my calling was to do the dope and preach to those people. I would just have the Bible open reading it to them like literally while we were high.”

Over the next five years, Craig’s life became a cycle of drug charges, jail time, and rehab. During intense drug binges, something darker began to take hold.

Craig remembers, “Meth is evil in itself. And so now you are doing it, unrighteously fasting. You’re not eating, and so now you’re sensitive to these spirits. I would just hear a bunch of voices telling me to kill myself or they’re coming out to kill me. I was scared because I was seeing these demons.”

When the torment became overwhelming, Craig called his aunt, a pastor, who prayed with him.

Craig says, “That was the only place I felt safe. One thing I knew about my Aunt Pat is that she had something in her that those demons didn’t want no part of. She would always tell me, ‘Craig, Jesus loves you. Why are you running? Quit running. I mean every time. He has a plan for you.’”

Yet, Craig didn’t care about God’s plan but only staying high. That is until he saw that his addiction was influencing his younger brother to follow the same destructive path.

Craig recalls, “In was in that moment, that I repented and I asked God to forgive me for what I had done, not just for leading my brother astray, but for what I had done to my life. In that instance, that’s when I heard the voice of God say, ‘Go to church.’”

When he went to church, Craig immediately went to the altar and finally surrendered everything to God.

Craig remembers, “I fall down. I’m crying. Even in those tears it’s repentance, realizing what I had done. I had sinned against God and not only for my life but I had led others astray. I actually liked doing drugs. I liked the way they made me feel. Like, I loved it But on November 7, 2010, I found something I loved so much more. I was instantly delivered from a twelve-year meth and crack addiction. He did that for me instantly. I could feel the heaviness and burden come off me. When He showed up that day, everything changed.”

That same afternoon, Craig’s girlfriend Tiffany saw the change in his life and surrendered her life to Christ too. Salvation didn’t just free Craig from addiction; it gave him the grace to forgive his father and discover God’s love that never let him go.

Craig says, “The fact that I was able to even tell my dad, ‘I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault.’ That abandonment, that feeling of wanting to be accepted. That feeling of wanting to be included, God is like I already included you. No matter what you go through, no matter what you’re dealing with, He’s always right there.”

Today, Craig is married and travels the country using Christian rap to reach people bound by addiction. He shares that God’s grace doesn’t just forgive the past, it rewrites your future.

Craig shares, “When nothing that you’ve done or tried fills that void, because at the end of the day, that crack high is going to wear off, that weed high is going to wear off. But I tell you something I know Somebody who said He’ll never leave you nor forsake you. His name is Jesus. If you turn to Him, He will turn your life around, because Jesus changes everything.”